By Greg Baer I receive letters like the following on a regular basis: “My boyfriend and I first met six months ago, and in the beginning, we couldn’t have had more fun. We did everything together. He was good-looking, intelligent, had a good job and a great sense of humor. Sexually, we couldn’t have been more compatible. At one point, we were even talking about getting engaged, but now things have changed, and I just don’t understand it. Now we argue all the time, and he’s starting to avoid me. I’ve tried to talk to him about our relationship, but he gets irritated and says there’s nothing wrong. I don’t get it. How could we have had such a great relationship, but now it’s so different? I’ve been through this in a couple of other relationships too, and I don’t want to keep repeating this pattern.” Real Love is the one thingmore than anything elsethat we have to have in order to be happy as inviduals, and without it we simply can’t participate in healthy relationships. Nothing can replace Real Love. But when we don’t have enough Real Love, the emptiness is intolerable, so we do go looking for something to replace it. And we discover that there are some things that feel pretty good, like the approval of other peopleeven if we have to earn it. So do praise, power, money, and sex. If we can’t get the real thingReal Lovewe try to get as much of those other things (Imitation Love) as we can. When we get big enough doses of approval, praise, sex, whatever, we actually believe we’re genuinely happy, but then the effects of Imitation Love wear offthey always doand we’re empty again. We have to look for more. That’s what has happened in your several relationships with men, including the one with your present boyfriend. Unless you quite different from the vast majority of human beings, it’s unlikely that you’ve had much experience with Real Love. You actually prove that with some of the things you say about him. You say he’s good looking. In other words, he provides you with the physical pleasure of looking at an attractive man and of fantasizing about the pleasure you might have with him. In addition, when you’re seen with a good looking man, other people think better of you. So when you say he’s good looking, you’re not really describing him. You’re describing how he pleases youhow he gives you Imitation Love in the forms of pleasure (from him) and praise (from others). You say he’s intelligent, which provides you with stimulating conversation, as well as someone who can solve problems that might come up from time to time. He has a good job. That’s a nice source of potential security for you. You say he has a great sense of humor, which means that you enjoy how he entertains you. He pleases you sexually. Again, it’s about how he pleases you. Notice the pattern here? All these characteristics have nothing to do with Real Love. You’re describing how he provides Imitation Love for you and makes you feel better in the short term. You’d only have that interest if you hadn’t received enough Real Love up to this point in your life. But the effects of Imitation Love always wear off, as you’ve noticed in several relationships. After six months, the thrill of sex isn’t what it once was. Being sexually attractive doesn’t win you the same praise, nor does that praise feel quite as good as it once did. Your boyfriend has begun to avoid you because he has noticed the diminishing effects of Imitation Love, too. The two of you are arguing more now, because you’re both terribly disappointed that the thrill you once felt from the other just isn’t the same. You feel betrayed, so you’re angrily demanding from each othermostly without realizing itthat the other person do whatever it takes to restore that old magic. My What you don’t realize is that the old magic was an illusion. It was a lie based on Imitation Love. From the beginning, your relationship was not based on Real Love, so pretty much it was doomed from the start. So what can you do now? If you were actually marriedif you’d made a commitment to stay together for a lifetimeI’d recommend that you stay together and learn how to work this out. But you haven’t made that commitment, so what’s important now is that you learn HOW to have a relationship based on Real Love. It would be pretty difficult for you to learn about unconditional love while you stayed with your boyfriend, because you’d be very distracted by the enormous expectations you have of him. You’d be constantly disappointed and irritated at him. On the whole, you’ll find it much, much easier to leave this relationshipright now; it doesn’t get easier with timeand start over. Learn how to tell the truth about yourself to some friendsgirlfriends, preferably, so you won’t be distracted by the possibility of an intimate relationship. As you do that, you’ll create opportunities to feel their unconditional acceptance, and that will pretty much change everything. As you feel enough Real Love, you won’t be fooled by Imitation Love again. You won’t start relationships based on that flawed foundation. Instead, you’ll look forand you’ll findrelationships based on the truth. Those are the ones that last, the kind you’ve been looking for all your life. The world is literally dying from a lack of the one thing essential for our happinessReal Love. We spend our entire lives trying to replace that unconditional love with praise, power, sex, money, entertainment, safety, and so on. But it never works, and the resulting emptiness and fear are almost too much to bear. We dont have to live like this anymore. Greg Baer and RealLove.com are teaching (1) the real cause of fear and anger and (2) how to find this Real Love that replaces the fear, anger, and conflict in our lives with peace, confidence, and genuine happiness. Dr. Greg Baer is the author of 16 books, DVDs, and CDstwo of which are internationally published by Penguin Putnam Groupand has presented the life-changing message of Real Love to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. For more information on Real Love, including hours of free streaming video and audio, visit http://www.RealLove.com . Youll be grateful for the rest of your life that you took this step. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Greg_Baer http://EzineArticles.com/?Letting-the-Relationship-Die—Why-Saving-a-Relationship-is-Often-the-Worst-Thing-You-Can-Do&id=329617 bad credit mortgages in ca low fixed interest no fee credit cards sample letter to fix credit rv financing for bad credit